Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
