i think i have two assholes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
