My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
