As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
