Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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