I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
