I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
