32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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