I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
