oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I came home braless and wearing a tail....