I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
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Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!