ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
