first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
