Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
