census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize