my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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