I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
