apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
