Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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