Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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