Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
