...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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