It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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