put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
