Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
