We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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