i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sarcasm needs its own font
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
