HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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