I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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