she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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