I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
