Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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