one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
