I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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