Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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