Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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