And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
