also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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