member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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