Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize