wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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