Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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