I accidentally burped into my bong.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i've created a new STD.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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