how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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