Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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