Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
