i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
