just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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