Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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