Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
