Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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