will power is for people who don't want to get laid
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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