I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
