There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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