He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
