ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
