Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
