oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
