Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
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