And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
