Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
