I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
