I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
