Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize