got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
