Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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