lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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