I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
