ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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